I saw you picking your nose at the stoplight.

"You're Ugly, Too" by Lorrie Moore

One thing I do when people have a last name like Moore (or Mohr) or Wright or Brown, I pretend their name is Less, Wrong, and Poop, respectively. But the guy with the fauxhawk asked if I would be excited if Zoe, with her fancy e that doesn't mean anything, joined AP Lit. My answer would be heecckk yes. Some people were turned off by her spaz attack at the end and her descent into bitterness, but I'm just pretending that's for the story's sake of making her a tragic character and winning some author bonus points. I guess, really, it's the author's humor that's used, so I'd much prefer to meet her. Also, while Zoe was staying with Evan (which I pronounced like "ee-vahn," all French-like), especially when she went to the movies, I died laughing because I could only keep thinking of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTFZyl7hfBw (It won't let me embed, so you'll have to click on it to find out! Go on, do it! The suspense is killing you!) Also, the description of life in mid-southern Illinois was the most hilariously accurate thing I have ever read.

The lady with the bubble over her head says "Get off my house, please!"