Methyl Ethyl Ether - It's what's for dinner.

"Bartleby the Scrivener" by Herman Melville

Firstly offs, scrivener is a word of utmost cool-osity. Second offs, the story is about the narrator lawyer guy, not Bartleby. Now that we have that established (because it was only asked in every other "critical thinking" question) let's moveth on.

Soooo, this kind of reminded me of The Sun Also Rises in that the whole plot wasn't really a central element, more so the characterization. People even had the same negative reaction to it too! Have we been conditioned as a society that we must have something happening every single second of our lives to get instant gratification? Honestly yes, but who caaaares? Also, the name Bartleby reminds me of the Bartemaeus Trilogy which had the dumbest ending known to mankind. And other fun names like Turkey, Nippers, and Ginger Nut provide me with great amusement. In fact, it would not offend me at all if you called me Ginger Nut. However, it would be more productive and useful to call Matthew Blandford Ginger Nut. I propose this to be common practice. All in favor say "Turkey Nippers." All opposed may leave.

Delish.

Don't Get Scurvy. Thank You.

"Hunters in the Snow" by Tobias Wolff

First, props go out to Lacy Christian for connecting this to the Southpark gag of "Oh my God, you killed Kenny!" 'Twas pretty awesome and worth quite a few laughs. Ohohohoho. Santa.

It could be argued that Tub, on the surface, is a stock character: a cartoon-like obese man who is the butt of other people's jokes. What characterizing details help to make Tub into a fully realized individual?

Well, just the fact that even Tub's name suggests he's a large fellow doesn't do much for him. However, one could connect this to Lord of the Flies in which Piggy is a kind of stock character as well who is overweight and picked on. Both have names that describe their appearances and both are more than they seem. Tubs is more than someone there for comic relief. One of his most profound acts is shooting Kenny out of self-preservation. I don't know about you, but that's not quite so funny-ha-ha. He is further developed into a more serious character as he makes known his preference for not being made fun of for his weight. In addition, the spilling of his STHUPER STHEECRET of that, hey, he just eats more food than a cow each day and that his weight really isn't due to a gland problem. Shockerrrrrr.

Points for finding the most relevant picture!

I'm your little pterodactyl!

"Everyday Use" by Alice Walker

Is Dee wholly unsympathetic? Is the mother's victory over her altogether positive? What emotional ambivalence is there in the final scene between Maggie and her mother in the yard?

Dee, it seems, is actually a sympathetic character in that she's sympathetic to her mom and her sister Maggie and she brings out the sympathy in me as a reader. It can be seen how Dee almost pities her family for living in a kind of "cultural ignorance" and at heart wants the best for her family. In addition, the reader feels sympathy for the now fractured relationship between Dee and her family. The mother's victory is not completely positive either. Dee leaves her house still with her ignorance of her own African-American culture and the mother and Maggie remain content without putting their complete African heritage in the forefront of their lives. So it's kinda like a no-win win-win. Everybody happy! 'Cept the reader.

Saskwatch! For the busy bigfoot on the go. Just because you're hiding in the woods doesn't mean you don't want to know what time it is.

And so to wrap it all up like a taco from Taco Bell that's indeed "good to go," I think I enjoyed Metamorphosis more than these short stories. They were weird. They left a funny feeling in my tummy. Everything was depressing. I don't know about you, but it seems like I'm PMS-ing or something tonight. Most of my answers weren't really analytical either, mostly just my rantings and ravings. I'm okay with that though. And though Metamorphosis was looooong and earns perfect 10s in the weird category, at least it was entertaining and I could read it aloud in my British reading voice to share my disturbed state with all around me. So, at least Metamorphosis had the potential to be entertaining. These did not. Pretentious, pretentious, pretentious.

I'm full of notcaring tonight and it is FAB!

Who needs an iPod when you've got boombox pants?

"A Rose for Emily" by William Faulkner

What are the advantages of first-person plural point of view in this story? What would be lost if it were told in first-person singular, by one of the townspeople, or in third-person limited point of view?

Please note, all questions asked are, in fact, questions. Second, the real advantage I see in using first-person plural is to be all fancy and artsy and "oh I wonder what will happen if I write something in an obscure point of view? Oh, I'll get the Nobel Prize!" Pretentious is what I see. What would be lost if it were told any other way would be some confusing elements and a Nobel Prize. The person might be cool because then you'd get into Emily's inner thoughts...yeah, I'd like to be there. Stream of Consciousness. Pretty sweet. Oh, and can we read a story that isn't incredibly sexual? I know we're all trying to pretend to be mature, but now it's just getting annoying. This has been your time with Kim Iverson....I mean...you know. =D

She talks about sexual things too....=/

Emoticons.

Texting your friends who aren't there is cooler than merely talking to the ones that are.

"Interpreter of Maladies" by Jhumpa Lahiri

So, when I first read Harry Potter and they mentioned the wizard hospital, St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, I thought it was surprisingly specific in that it only dealt with women because I somehow interpreted "maladies" as having to do with women. Probably something with the word "ladies" in it and kind of sounding like "m'ladies" aaand kind of looking like the word madame. It was then to my surprise that there were male patients there. Thank you, Harry Potter, for teaching me the definition of maladies before I read this short story lest I be utterly confused. Also, Mr. Kapasi was creepin' hardcore on Mrs. Das. That's pretty much what I got from this story. Mr. Kapasi is gross. That kid gets pwnd by some monkeys. Mrs. Das is depressed and ill content. Not that earth-shattering. Hmm.

No longer Peeps, or even Marshmallow Creeps.

I know christen these treats as Mr. Kapasi's.

If your pedantic, you'll love this title.

"How I Met My Husband" by Alice Munro

Discuss the effectiveness of the surprise ending. How does Carmichael differ from Chris Watters? Can it be argued that the surprise ending is also inevitable and appropriate?

First, something I'd like to address, is a little pet peeve o' mine. "Discuss the effectiveness of the surprise ending." is not a question. It is a misnomer to call this question a "question" when the first sentence is imperative. In addition, telling someone, rather abruptly and rudely mind you, to "discuss" as matter-of-factly as this textbook just did gets someone fired. Lucky for people in general, I'm not yet 30. So, it wants to discuss? Let's discuss! I think the surprise ending was effective in making the story be published in an AP Lit. book so whackjob professors can get just a little recognition by their peers and so their head inflates so that it no longer fits through doors. How about you? Oh wait, I can't discuss this because it's just ME! A discussion requires at least two people. If you want a discussion, please join me, otherwise, don't ever in your life ask me to "discuss" something, ESPECIALLY in a QUESTION because that's where actual QUESTIONS go.

Carmichael differs from Chris Watters in that he is not a perverted vagabond looking to corrupt girls much younger than him. It's the conservative husband who will love her that we've all been waiting for!

It can indeed be argued that the ending was inevitable and appropriate. It can also be argued that the moon is made of cheese and I am the Queen of Sheba. But if Edie did end up with crazy Chris, it wouldn't have been satisfying to the reader at all in that she ended up with a total creep who would probably rape her the second time 'round.