Censorship Saves the Day!

"How I Met My Husband" by Alice Munro

Plot


Edie is no longer the handmaid to a misplaced suburban family in the country, but rather a young aspiring businesswoman living in her modest apartment in the heart of New York City. She complacently goes to work in a dull office building, often staying late without pay in her attempt to rise the corporate ladder. Through the monotony, a fresh, new face enters the office with a bravado never seen at Staples McStapleton, Inc. The rakishly handsome Tom Foolery steals her heart, and they fall into each others arms, intertwining in the supply closet. When they emerge, the office is all eyes on the disheveled duo. Edie quickly fixes her hair and returns to her work. The long-time stalker of Edie also works in the office, and after seeing the ordeal in front of his eyes confronts Edie at gunpoint and forces her to be his wife. He escapes with her to Utah to live the rest of their lives as Mormons.

Edie aspires to have a friend she can rely on.

Point of View

Much like the original, the story would be told from a first-person point of view. However, since this country bumpkin got a makeover, so did her attitude and diction! Edie turns everything into a large ordeal, complete with gossip, he-said-she-saids, and at least one sexual innuendo. Keeping it first person will allow the reader to keep up with the mercurial Edie by first-hand describing her emotions. As she is now a complex, modern woman with complex needs only her complex and insightful diction ("And then, I, like, stepped into the hall, and he was, like, so creepin' on me!") will do. The narrator could never understand her.

Mercurial Mercury. 

It makes you brain dead!

Characterization

Edie is now an upfront, in-your-face woman who isn't afraid to tell you what she thinks. Edie never beats around the bush and always brings her realist views to the situation ("And then, we went, like, clubbing and stuff, and I totally met this hot guy, but he wasn't even, like, into me, and I was like, umm, excuse me, but I'm hot."). As you can see, her self-description leaves nothing to be desired. In fact, throughout her narrative, not too many characters can get a word in edgewise. Edie usually cuts them off at the first sign of quotation marks. Tom doesn't speak much, so it was perfect, what they had.

Welcome to Party de Edie.

Setting

No longer is Edie confined to the countryside. New York provides a fast-paced, heart-throbbing setting for Edie to find true love. The taxis whiz by, sirens wail, nights are as bright as day. It's all perfect for a young woman to prowl the streets in search for the perfect man. 

Don't worry though, the purists will appreciate the scene change to Utah. It's nice and boring there. And desolate.

Theme

As far as meeting her husband, Edie sure does. She also has raging hormones just like the original, too. The theme of a kind of ironic twist is in tact as well. Everyone knows she can't end up with the cookie-cutter perfect man. It was never meant to be him, but rather, the stalker, whom she saw everyday but never payed attention to. Who would have suspected him? The story is now wrapped in a more superficial, blood racing, degrading package which is sure to appeal to the youth, thus more effectively conveying theme.

They're diverse!

The Cult of Singing Cereal Boxes - Scientology.

The Minority Report - movie style

Plot


Once upon a time, there was a short story called "The Minority Report." Then Steven Spielberg wanted to make a movie out of it. He decided "Oh, let's keep the title and the main character's name, but, uh, let's change everything else." I suppose though, changing one of the shortest short stories to one of the longest movies known to man does take some revamping. So, let us begin with the similarities. The idea of precrime and precogs remain constant. A minority report is still sought after. John Anderton is set up. Differences include the physical appearance of John Anderton who is a young strapping lad in the form of Tom Cruise [as opposed to"I'm getting bald. Bald and fat and old." (pg 119)] and one of Precrime's top agents rather than the Commissioner. Precrime in the written story has been institutionalized in American culture and is a nationally run program. In the movie, Precrime seems to be run privately and limited to Washington D.C. The country is supposed to vote to make the program go national. Enter Witwer, a government agent who looks to bring down Precrime by exposing flaws. Unlike the short story, he's shot and that's about all there is too it. Leopold Kaplan, the man Anderton is supposed to kill, is not the conspirator, nor does he play much of a role in the movie. His character is of a recovering drug addict who wants to die so his family will be given money. Anderton has a dead son, a divorced wife, and is a drug addict. At least in the story, he had a hot trophy wife who kind of put up with him. Quite possibly one of the biggest differences is that the minority report that Anderton seeks to clear his name doesn't exist in the movie, whereas there were three minority reports in the story. And, finally, in the end, Precrime is abolished due to its unethical nature and Anderton and his wife get back together and have a baby. The short story ends with Precrime being saved by Anderton because it works except in the case of the Precrime Commissioner who has access to the reports. These differences were some of the largest and just scratched the surface. The whole movie is the difference, in entirety.

John Anderton also gets fancy gloves with LED lights.

Point of View


So the point of view, just as in the story, is third person. Almost all movies are third person. The only movie I can recall being in first person was Doom, and that set the industry standard of a flop. So at least Steven Spielberg and Philip K. Dick can agree on point of view! Yay! It have been really odd if the viewer was John Anderton and we wouldn't have Tom Cruise as man candy to look at.

Ohhh yeaahhhh.

Characterization

John Anderton is characterized indirectly in the movie, as most characters in movies are. Literature can get away with stating outright what the character is or is not. It would be very difficult, though, to watch a movie in which the minor characters tell the audience exactly what the main character is like and then the main character acts exactly how the minor characters say he would. What is to be characterized in the movie compared to the short story, contains a vast array of differences. For example, John Anderton in the story is old, insecure, perpetually weary of human existence, and has bouts of paranoia. Tom Cruise (who will represent John Anderton in the movie) is confident, young, robust, and has that poignant critical flaw of being addicted to drugs that brings him ever closer to perfection. "He's troubled, but I can help him," says the middle-aged woman in the audience pining after the stud on screen.

While we're working on personality flaws,

let's all remember that he's in an extremist cult too.

Setting

This was der biggie y'all. It was in Washington D.C. and not New York, ahhhh!!! Washington D.C. added a kind of political flair to the plot, which I feel was a positive change for the direction the story was taken. Technically, because Precime was nationwide in the story, the setting is limited in the movie to just D.C., but that's plenty of room for the Precrime cops to make their exceptionally stereotypical ninja entrances in. That was probably the funniest part of the movie for me. Another biggie was that the story only mentions that the events were occurring sometime in the future after a big war. The year 2054 is clearly given in the movie and the only downfall of man was the catastrophic degrading of moral standards and the hedonism of humanity running rampant. One thing that I found consistent was the film noir feel to it though. Kate Schutte asked a marvelous question referring to the translation of the term, and yes, it does mean "black film" in French. It is used to refer to the black and white nature of the detectivey who-dun-it movies of the 40s and quite possibly the "dark" nature of a murder mystery thriller. The dark, film noir tone of the story was conveyed with word choice and gloomy settings, such as the slums of New York. The film noir aspect of the movie is kept alive in that, even though it wasn't black and white, the colors were painfully muted and the lighting was more of a sickly green or blue rather than a warm yellow, as  you may find on a sunny day in a romantic comedy, implying a kind of "black and white" effect.

This too is black and white; Tom Cruise is a mystery for the ages.

Theme

The Big Brother theme is still kinda pretty much there throughout the movie. Even more so than the story which mostly implied it. Rather in the movie, everybody was all eye scanned up to keep tabs on them which led to people switching out eyeballs on the street. Not even the story was that weird. Yet, because it's a Hollywood movie, there's gotta be a happy ending or heads are going to roll. Precrime is abolished and Tom gets the girl. It kind of shows how "humanity really isn't all that bad; we're just misguided beings." But the real theme here is that Hollywood should grow a pair and end a movie other than in true Disney form.

Because someone has to do it.

Check your moles!

"Popular Mechanics" by Raymond Carver

Discuss the title of the story. The original title was "Mine." Which do you think is more effective?

Discuss yourself! Oh wait, you can't, because it takes two people to discuss something! However, I digress, what I believe the title to be all about (and this is just my speculation seeing as I haven't checked it against a reliable source) is that when looking at "popular," we think of the star quarterback that cheerleader you had a crush on, but she never knew you existed in high school and now you're making a mediocre salary, living in a mediocre home with your mediocre life while she turned to stripping for extra money in college and is now in a halfway house, recovering from her drug addiction. Yet, "popular" in it's most basic terms, means "of people." So, combined with mechanics, which could mean, the workings of something, or literally a machine, we get a title that implies "how people work" and "these people are machines, dead and robotic." I'm either very close, or laughably incorrect. As far as effectiveness between the two titles, "Mine" makes the ending a little less ambiguous, I feel, but "Popular Mechanics" is more mentally stimulating and therefore title domination.

I saw you picking your nose at the stoplight.

"You're Ugly, Too" by Lorrie Moore

One thing I do when people have a last name like Moore (or Mohr) or Wright or Brown, I pretend their name is Less, Wrong, and Poop, respectively. But the guy with the fauxhawk asked if I would be excited if Zoe, with her fancy e that doesn't mean anything, joined AP Lit. My answer would be heecckk yes. Some people were turned off by her spaz attack at the end and her descent into bitterness, but I'm just pretending that's for the story's sake of making her a tragic character and winning some author bonus points. I guess, really, it's the author's humor that's used, so I'd much prefer to meet her. Also, while Zoe was staying with Evan (which I pronounced like "ee-vahn," all French-like), especially when she went to the movies, I died laughing because I could only keep thinking of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTFZyl7hfBw (It won't let me embed, so you'll have to click on it to find out! Go on, do it! The suspense is killing you!) Also, the description of life in mid-southern Illinois was the most hilariously accurate thing I have ever read.

The lady with the bubble over her head says "Get off my house, please!"

Fire drills are more effective than Ex-Lax.

"The Drunkard" by Frank O'Connor

Hee hee, there's a little drunk boy in this one! I thought this story, compared to other's that we've read, was just overall "cute." It wasn't really deep. It didn't seek to make the reader drown in his own lucubrations. Then again, it was supposed to be humorous, and how deep can you really go with that? (That's what she said. Oh yes, that just happened.) Can humor be thought provoking? Maybe that's satire. I didn't say much, but this was eight sentences (minus content in parentheses).

Made in Germany.

Touch my bee!

"The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson

Many modern customs or rituals have developed from primitive origins (for example, the decoration of a Christmas tree). Can you identify some others? What would set them apart from the ritual stoning in this story?

The "can you identify some others" part of this three-pronged dealio reminds me of something that would be asked in first grade. Naturally, I picked it because it requires the least amount of effort. Let's see, there's dressing up on Halloween, having a turkey at Thanksgiving, and the Easter Bunny hiding eggs on Easter. Many of these are a blend of pagan and Christian traditions (all except the turkey). Such background sets these apart from ritual stoning because, well, no one dies. Odd as it may seem to the villagers, holidays are for celebration and not killing. Lottery Day may be a kind of "holiday" for them, but it's kind of a macabre way of going about it.

Listen to the blog frog.

The Soup of the Day is Cream of Beefaroni

"The Minority Report" by Philip K. Dick

Plot


"The Minority Report" features a fast-paced, "need-to-know" basis plot structure. Due to the relative brevity of the work, it starts in medias res with the main character, John Anderton, meeting a protagonist/antagonist and quickly setting up the conflict of his being framed for murder. With this kick off, the premise of "Precrime" is explained in the classic "So we both know this, but I'm going to say it anyway for the sake of the audience without acknowledging the audience." For example, "...Anderton said, 'You're acquainted with the theory of precrime, of course. I presume we can take that for granted.' 'I have the information publicly available,' Witwer replied." (pg 120). Although I won't put the whole quote on here, the "theory of precrime" is explained in its entirety by Witwer even though neither character needed the information. Such techniques drive me up a wall, but in this case is necessary to keep pace with the ever-moving plot line, but is expertly satirized in the best parody of the century in "A Very Potter Musical" as seen here from 0:00-1:00


As the plot continues to unravel, the suspense is clear through the terse action scenes and mind-bending explanation of the theory of precrime.

Point of View


The story is written in third person and stays exclusively to the narration of John Anderton. The omniscient narrator frequently lets the reader into the mind of Anderton as he works out the possibilities of who may have framed him. "His original impulse - to tear open the machines and remove all the data - was uselessly primitive. Probably the tapes agreed with the card: He would only incriminate himself further." (pg 123). This style gives the story a film noir vibe with a sci-fi twist as the would-be detective tries to solve the mystery while traipsing around a futuristic, war-devastated New York with the possibility of knowing the future through mutants. Only in sci-fi. The narration hardly ever strays from Anderton, revealing much about the character. The shortness of the piece almost requires this to fully develop Anderton into a dynamic, round character. Even the other "main" characters, such as Anderton's wife, Witwer, and Leopold Kaplan, the main antagonist, are only discussed by means of interaction with Anderton.

Point of View - get it? (She's pointing!)

Characterization

Characterization, surprisingly due to the story's short length (<--- oxymoron?), was achieved primarily through indirect characterization. This is because of the vast focus on Anderton and his actions and thoughts as a means to move the plot. With direct and outright telling what's what thrown by the wayside, this only leaves room for the characterization of Anderton through his thoughts, actions, and interactions. Each interaction, then, too was utilized as a way of characterizing the character with whom Anderton spoke. "Startled, Anderton backed off. What were the chances of his wife's friendliness being benign, accidental? Witwer would be present the balance of the evening, and would now have an excuse to trail along to Anderton's private residence. Profoundly disturbed, he turned impulsively, and moved toward the door." (pg 124). This is taken from the beginning of the story when Anderton is first contemplating the potential suspects and establishes his paranoia with which he deals throughout the story as he suspects his new assistant and even his own wife.

Indirect + Direct = Characterization

Setting

"The Minority Report" is set in the future of New York City after a devastating war. Anderton marches around the slums, in back alleys, rides in fancy cars, and has his private office in a fancy skyscraper. These locations, plus the dark imagery and mood ("The bus entered the vast slum region, the tumbled miles of cheap hotels and broken-down tenements that had sprung up after the mass destruction of the war." pg 132) exude a retro 1940s film noir. However, this story ain't all super-sluthin' around in fuzzy black and white. The juxtaposition of a far off, science fictional future adds a twist to the story to make the setting fresh and new in both the murder mystery (although in this case it's a hypothetical murder) and sci-fi genres. 

Just in case you were all "uhh, whats a film noir?" please study the above photo. 

Surprise! It's one of them confangled detective-y shows.

And have yourself a fancy theme song for further illustration. 

This was actually considered popular music in the '50s. There's some sweet action!

Theme

"The Minority Report" seems to explore the topic of "Big Brother" and the role he (he?) may play in the future as the government (or some other powerful agency) utilizes technology to better keep tabs on people. It also points out the ethics involved with progressing technology to the point of "Should we be doing this?" rather than "Can we do this?" In the final scene of Anderton explaining the whole hypothetical precrime conundrum, which provides a means for arrest for a crime (usually murder) that hasn't even happened, that started his mess, Anderton is quick to point out that his situation was unique and could only happen again to one person, the Precrime Commissioner, now Anderton's assistant, Witwer, who has access to the precrime reports telling the future. "'Better keep your eyes open,' he informed young Witwer. 'It might happen to you at any time.'" When all the other themes are combined, cooked, processed, wrapped, and shipped to happy children across the world, it really comes down to the addage "with great power comes great responsibility."

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spiderman. 

(Relevant this time, I promise!)

Ask me about my pentameral symmetry!

"Once Upon A Time" by Nadine Gordimer

So in the spirit of writing fun stories, here's mine!

"Assistant Manager of the Heart" by Christian Powers

Bianca had it all - friends, a beautiful home, an exciting life filled with exotic trips and erotic nights with anyone she wanted. All that was missing was true love, but then she met Roger.

Roger lived a fast-paced life as the Assistant Manager in the Quality Assurance department at Qualcheck Information Services. His taciturn manner was uninteresting, but something about the way his Dockers broke across the topline of his Hush Puppies drove her mad. He was a puzzle wrapped in an enigma - how could a man so boring make her heart race?

Could it be? In her search for true love, all she had to do was wait for her prince to finish monitoring sales calls and take the bus home to her heart....

Truth.

The Croissant: Le do or le don't?

"Miss Brill" by Katherine Mansfield

I don't know why, but it seems like hardcore creeper characters make good literature to someone in high places. If that's the case, I could totally write Nobel Prize worthy stories because when it comes to creeping, I'm A-1. Miss Brill could take a few lessons from me. And she takes an unhealthy liking to having a little "almond surprise" in her cake. AAAANNDD after having her creeping hopes and dreams crushed by the rude little French couple who were two seconds away from doing it in front of the entirety of France she runs into her room and cries. Whether it's her, her creepy animal thing she wears, or her soouuull, it's also pretty emo. I really don't have too much sympathy for her, which may be cold and heartless. However, kids, we must remember she's a fictional character and doesn't have real feelings. And don't even begin to give me a "but she's real in your heart and on the page" kind of crap. This cynic ain't buyin' it.

Truth.

Panda Cube: E-Z 2 Store

"A Worn Path" by Eudora Welty

In answer to a student who wrote to ask her "Is the grandson really dead?" Welty responded, "My best answer would be: Phoenix is alive." What might have led the student to ask that question? How can the author's remark be seen as an answer?

Heh, boy did we have fun with this one in our small group. Well, the question was certainly on everyone's mind. What led the reader to believe the grandson was dead was primarily the unresponsiveness of Phoenix as the attendant asks her if he has died. What gives this some ambiguity is that Phoenix claims he's alive and she only, in her old age, forgot his state. Yet, as the encounter with the hunter shows after she took his nickel that she's certainly wily enough to craft her way through most situations. It's all ambiguous up in hurr. The author's remark is "her best answer" and by not answering the question that is focused on the grandson, then turning attention back to Phoenix, would be her tongue-in-cheek way of saying that whether the grandson is dead or not isn't all that important. It's the theme conveyed by Phoenix and her quest that makes the story what it is.

Truth.

My bologna has first name, it's B-O-L-O-G-N-A...

"Eveline" by James Joyce

To what extent is Eveline's refusal to board the ship based on her judgment and will? Has she decided not to go?

The actual extent of her will is very limited. Again and again, she describes leaving as "impossible" while tenaciously "clutch[ing] the iron railing." She metaphorically fears "he would drown her" in "...the seas of the world tumbl[ing] about her heart." She is even described as "passive, like a helpless animal." All point to this moment transcending the act of deciding and project a situation where she is compelled to stay. This highlights the "spiritual paralysis" of the citizens of Dublin through Eveline. Eveline is essentially "paralyzed" on the deck just as she is about to be free of her burden at home. Her duty she feels she owes to her mother, coupled with her life thus far and the culture of Dublin keep her from leaving.

Truth.

I put the totle in Aristotle.

My next blog will be about a fabulously wealthy singing ballerina who is more pretty than anyone! She will be carrying the child of her uncle who is really her dad, and having an affair with her brother. Then she will find out she's her own mother!

It actually won't but it's fun to think so. Isn't it pretty to think so? I actually really hated that line and eeeeverybody loved it. I didn't like the book though so ehh. I also didn't like Bartleby the Scrivener for the same and different reasons. This heathen book reader demands plot! Aaaand so that's my fully engaging and insightful blog post.

The Midwest's Favorite Igloo!

It's beckoning.

Methyl Ethyl Ether - It's what's for dinner.

"Bartleby the Scrivener" by Herman Melville

Firstly offs, scrivener is a word of utmost cool-osity. Second offs, the story is about the narrator lawyer guy, not Bartleby. Now that we have that established (because it was only asked in every other "critical thinking" question) let's moveth on.

Soooo, this kind of reminded me of The Sun Also Rises in that the whole plot wasn't really a central element, more so the characterization. People even had the same negative reaction to it too! Have we been conditioned as a society that we must have something happening every single second of our lives to get instant gratification? Honestly yes, but who caaaares? Also, the name Bartleby reminds me of the Bartemaeus Trilogy which had the dumbest ending known to mankind. And other fun names like Turkey, Nippers, and Ginger Nut provide me with great amusement. In fact, it would not offend me at all if you called me Ginger Nut. However, it would be more productive and useful to call Matthew Blandford Ginger Nut. I propose this to be common practice. All in favor say "Turkey Nippers." All opposed may leave.

Delish.

Don't Get Scurvy. Thank You.

"Hunters in the Snow" by Tobias Wolff

First, props go out to Lacy Christian for connecting this to the Southpark gag of "Oh my God, you killed Kenny!" 'Twas pretty awesome and worth quite a few laughs. Ohohohoho. Santa.

It could be argued that Tub, on the surface, is a stock character: a cartoon-like obese man who is the butt of other people's jokes. What characterizing details help to make Tub into a fully realized individual?

Well, just the fact that even Tub's name suggests he's a large fellow doesn't do much for him. However, one could connect this to Lord of the Flies in which Piggy is a kind of stock character as well who is overweight and picked on. Both have names that describe their appearances and both are more than they seem. Tubs is more than someone there for comic relief. One of his most profound acts is shooting Kenny out of self-preservation. I don't know about you, but that's not quite so funny-ha-ha. He is further developed into a more serious character as he makes known his preference for not being made fun of for his weight. In addition, the spilling of his STHUPER STHEECRET of that, hey, he just eats more food than a cow each day and that his weight really isn't due to a gland problem. Shockerrrrrr.

Points for finding the most relevant picture!

I'm your little pterodactyl!

"Everyday Use" by Alice Walker

Is Dee wholly unsympathetic? Is the mother's victory over her altogether positive? What emotional ambivalence is there in the final scene between Maggie and her mother in the yard?

Dee, it seems, is actually a sympathetic character in that she's sympathetic to her mom and her sister Maggie and she brings out the sympathy in me as a reader. It can be seen how Dee almost pities her family for living in a kind of "cultural ignorance" and at heart wants the best for her family. In addition, the reader feels sympathy for the now fractured relationship between Dee and her family. The mother's victory is not completely positive either. Dee leaves her house still with her ignorance of her own African-American culture and the mother and Maggie remain content without putting their complete African heritage in the forefront of their lives. So it's kinda like a no-win win-win. Everybody happy! 'Cept the reader.

Saskwatch! For the busy bigfoot on the go. Just because you're hiding in the woods doesn't mean you don't want to know what time it is.

And so to wrap it all up like a taco from Taco Bell that's indeed "good to go," I think I enjoyed Metamorphosis more than these short stories. They were weird. They left a funny feeling in my tummy. Everything was depressing. I don't know about you, but it seems like I'm PMS-ing or something tonight. Most of my answers weren't really analytical either, mostly just my rantings and ravings. I'm okay with that though. And though Metamorphosis was looooong and earns perfect 10s in the weird category, at least it was entertaining and I could read it aloud in my British reading voice to share my disturbed state with all around me. So, at least Metamorphosis had the potential to be entertaining. These did not. Pretentious, pretentious, pretentious.

I'm full of notcaring tonight and it is FAB!

Who needs an iPod when you've got boombox pants?

"A Rose for Emily" by William Faulkner

What are the advantages of first-person plural point of view in this story? What would be lost if it were told in first-person singular, by one of the townspeople, or in third-person limited point of view?

Please note, all questions asked are, in fact, questions. Second, the real advantage I see in using first-person plural is to be all fancy and artsy and "oh I wonder what will happen if I write something in an obscure point of view? Oh, I'll get the Nobel Prize!" Pretentious is what I see. What would be lost if it were told any other way would be some confusing elements and a Nobel Prize. The person might be cool because then you'd get into Emily's inner thoughts...yeah, I'd like to be there. Stream of Consciousness. Pretty sweet. Oh, and can we read a story that isn't incredibly sexual? I know we're all trying to pretend to be mature, but now it's just getting annoying. This has been your time with Kim Iverson....I mean...you know. =D

She talks about sexual things too....=/

Emoticons.

Texting your friends who aren't there is cooler than merely talking to the ones that are.

"Interpreter of Maladies" by Jhumpa Lahiri

So, when I first read Harry Potter and they mentioned the wizard hospital, St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, I thought it was surprisingly specific in that it only dealt with women because I somehow interpreted "maladies" as having to do with women. Probably something with the word "ladies" in it and kind of sounding like "m'ladies" aaand kind of looking like the word madame. It was then to my surprise that there were male patients there. Thank you, Harry Potter, for teaching me the definition of maladies before I read this short story lest I be utterly confused. Also, Mr. Kapasi was creepin' hardcore on Mrs. Das. That's pretty much what I got from this story. Mr. Kapasi is gross. That kid gets pwnd by some monkeys. Mrs. Das is depressed and ill content. Not that earth-shattering. Hmm.

No longer Peeps, or even Marshmallow Creeps.

I know christen these treats as Mr. Kapasi's.

If your pedantic, you'll love this title.

"How I Met My Husband" by Alice Munro

Discuss the effectiveness of the surprise ending. How does Carmichael differ from Chris Watters? Can it be argued that the surprise ending is also inevitable and appropriate?

First, something I'd like to address, is a little pet peeve o' mine. "Discuss the effectiveness of the surprise ending." is not a question. It is a misnomer to call this question a "question" when the first sentence is imperative. In addition, telling someone, rather abruptly and rudely mind you, to "discuss" as matter-of-factly as this textbook just did gets someone fired. Lucky for people in general, I'm not yet 30. So, it wants to discuss? Let's discuss! I think the surprise ending was effective in making the story be published in an AP Lit. book so whackjob professors can get just a little recognition by their peers and so their head inflates so that it no longer fits through doors. How about you? Oh wait, I can't discuss this because it's just ME! A discussion requires at least two people. If you want a discussion, please join me, otherwise, don't ever in your life ask me to "discuss" something, ESPECIALLY in a QUESTION because that's where actual QUESTIONS go.

Carmichael differs from Chris Watters in that he is not a perverted vagabond looking to corrupt girls much younger than him. It's the conservative husband who will love her that we've all been waiting for!

It can indeed be argued that the ending was inevitable and appropriate. It can also be argued that the moon is made of cheese and I am the Queen of Sheba. But if Edie did end up with crazy Chris, it wouldn't have been satisfying to the reader at all in that she ended up with a total creep who would probably rape her the second time 'round.

Que lastima! Es una carta de dia espanol. Se dice que nos ama, pero tiene que salir nosotros ahora.

"Delight in Disorder" by Robert Herrick

Me reading the poem: "Grrr...stupid soft rhymes that don't make any sense."
Me after thinking about it: "Ohhhh! The soft rhymes are supposed to be clever and enhance the theme!"
Me typing the above two comments: "Herrick reminds me of herring. You're a fish, Rob. Robster the Lobster, that's what you are."

But to explain that whole thing, the soft rhymes means something because they're a kind of disorder that have been put there on purpose. Just as the little off doo-dads in the described fashionista's outfit, the structure of the poem creates some disorder. Robster needs something to do with his life if he sits around writing about disorderly fashion in which he secretly takes pleasure.

Robster would enjoy this.


Also...I don't take Spanish.

4 out of 5 dentists agree that 1 out of 5 dentists' opinions can't be bought.

"Lonely Hearts" by Wendy Cope

At first I thought I was looking at a poem inspired by Match.com or something and thought "Yes! Finally, something not from the days of old fogies and mothballs." Then it got all "newspaper or magazine" in the questions part of the book. I guess 1950s-90s era is better than the less attractive and uncoordinated cousin, 1850-90. However, what really makes this form is the form and the repetition. The villanelle is an appropriate form because each tercet (and the final quatrain) represents a different ad. Each ad has vastly different needs for a mate described; yet, they are similar in two respects. The first are the kind of people that are writing their Personal. A biker, a gay vegetarian, the bored executive looking for a possible bisexual woman (dare to dream, you), a single Jewish mother, someone who identifies themselves as a Libra, and an anonymous person. Each are some kind of radical, liberal kind of "outcast" of society with whom nobody wants to deal. They all find their way, though, into the "Villanelle Personals." The repetition of phrases that come with the general form of the poem also ties each personal to a common theme of constant searching and desperation to be rid of loneliness.

Aaaand, let's add a penguin to the list of hopefuls, too.

Ain't nothin' funny 'bout no baked taters.

"Death, be not proud" by John Donne

The whole time I read this I just kept imagining this as a 14th-century version of a ghetto throwdown which totally dissed death for bein' on John Donne's turf. I now present, "Death, you be trippin'" by Christian Powers.

Death, you be trippin'

Death, you be trippin', even though some be
Givin'  you props, I ain't seein' it;
Ya thank ya all that
Butchu cain't even touch mah cornrows.
Dude ya even look a fool, lookin' all like ya make errbody sleepy
But dude, I don' even get up before noon; an' then you wanna make all uh us go tah beyad.
I don' thank so.
You be all up hangin' witcho posse,
But dude, cho posse don't even know me. They don' even know me!
Dude, I come across drugs that's better than yo sorry behind.
Why you be trippin' dawg?
Ima bust a cap in you.

                   

Word.

Guau, yo soy una abeja gigante.

"Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas

Soooo, I guess this is a villanelle. At least that's what the book says in it's description the size of una abeja gigante. But what really stuck out to me were the paradoxes. For example, even in the title our first paradox reveals itself in the form of "good night." This may even be a form of euphemism for death while also being a paradox. Whoooaahh, mindsplode. Not to be mistaken for the humdrum farewell we so often give, this "good night" is used to give death its due poignancy for the various kinds of men (wise, good, wild, and grave) and their ironic deaths their sense of...irony. In addition the speaker seems to suggest that the night isn't good, especially with the phrase "Rage, rage against the dying of the light," the whole "not go[ing] gentle" into it.

Yeah, coming up with a good picture was kind o' hard for this one...so enjoy!

Cactus: Not much better than no cactus.

"Getting Out" by Cleopatra Mathis

Probably the best part of this poem is the fact that the poet's name is freakin' CLEOPATRA!

The tone of this piece is surprising for a poem about divorce. It does not blame one person for the divorce (uses the pronoun "we" for the majority of subjects of sentences), nor does it take a frustrated or bitter tone. Rather, the couple is almost remorseful they have to be divorced ("Yet I think of the lawyer's bewilderment/when we cried, the last day."). In addition, it takes a nostalgic tone in the second stanza with such notables phrases as "Days were different:" and "'you gonna miss me/when I'm gone.'" The second stanza also reveals one of them tried to leave but just couldn't bring themselves to be away very long. Yet, what's interesting is that the poem's title and other phrases in it ("waking like inmates who beat the walls") suggests they are trapped in their love. Oh what horror.

Oh yes folks, this is Cleopatra Mathis. I want her hair, girlfran.

...then when I pulled into my parking spot at Kroger and got out, I heard all these bullets whizzing by! And they were all like PEW! PEW PEW PEW! Then they started shelling and everything was all BLOWING UP! So I ducked and rolled under the Prius next to me, soldier-crawled into the store and bought some juice and crackers.

"The Apparition" by John Donne

And I was so hoping to get that E.D. poem on the page before! But it's okay, Costello, you made up for it with this John Donne selection. Speaking of this selection, John Donne was doing some hardcore hypothetical creepin'. Baaaasically, if his current lady nags him too much, he'll "die" (literal or metaphorical? who knows, it's poetry!) and then when she thinks she's finally rid of him with her new hypothetical man, the speaker will hypothetically haunt her while she and her new hypothetical man sleep in their hypothetical bed. Not only was the speaker hypothetically creepin' on the woman, but the poem was ("hypothetically?") creepin' on the reader with it's eerie tone. Such imagery as "thy sick taper will begin to wink," and "then shall my ghost come to thy bed" gives a very haunted house theme to it all. The speaker feels he will be quite effective in his hypothetical creepin' mission that he will leave the woman "Bathed in a cold quicksilver sweat" and "[lying] a verier ghost than I." Ooh, gotcha there Ms. Naggypants!

Ooh look! It must be their hypothetical pet!

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

"Crossing the Bar" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

If tone gave an award for having tone, this poem would win it. Yeah, I just wrote that sentence, deal with it. Firstly offs, the first obstacle over which to hurdle is the metaphor for a boat coming to shore, a sandbar, and crossing water representing the crossing of life to death. However, usually, especially (whoah there conditionals) in America, death is viewed as something of a drag. Many poets have attempted to contemplate the mystery of death and whether to fear it or not, but the speaker, by his tone, seems almost relieved, anticipatory, and hopeful to die. Such phrases as "turns again home," "and may there be no sadness of farewell," and "hope to see my Pilot face to face" provide a hopeful, glad tone. In addition, the speaker utilizes imagery of crossing water which is plentiful in biblical imagery as well. It's quite holy.

Portions of Servitude are Quite Relaxing on Wednesdays

"My mistress' eyes" by William Shakespeare

Golly gee, y'all, Shakespeare's done it again! In his sonnet to his mistress, Shakespeare refuses to sugarcoat the compliments often given by other men to their women that exaggerate to the extreme. It is interesting to note that, his mistress is probably not his wife at the time, but an actual mistress. When Shakespeare died, he left his second-best bed to his wife and nothing else. This begs the question, would Shakespeare tell his wife that her eyes do blaze like the sun or have lips as red as coral? Maybe not knowing, she would accept these praises and Shakespeare, having got his sick pleasure from these secret underhanded compliments would only laugh to himself with a "if only she knew" kind of expression on his face. Yeah, kind of like one you're making. I must say you have wonderful facial motor skills.

You and Margaret Atwood, buddy.

Bring me a French Baguette

"Ozymandias" by Percy Shelley

This poem, in a unit involving irony, was ever so ironic. Ozymandias, once upon a time, was a ruler of Egypt or some sandy place like that. Being a natural-born douche bag, he abused his power and made pretty things to show himself off. Mr. Hotstuff is then come across years later in statue form by a "traveler" who said even his statue was smug. It commented on how Ozymandias did such big, big, big things and that we should all cower at his kingdom and his sneering visage. The funny ha-ha part, though is that he's a broken statue in the middle of nowhere with nothing but sand around him! Maybe you had to be there. Either way, I thought the poem was interesting in that it satirized a dead historical figure. But Ozymandias is supposed to represent a current political figya of that time, but just who it is will remain a mystery because I have not the brain-power or background information to unravel this pertinent mystery.

Meh.

Chalupa! Which means "I'm Hungry" in Hispaniola.

"Next to of course god america i" by E. E. Cummings

Oh well hey, look at this, they ain't no punctshahation up in hurr. The lack of most punctuation helps to further jumble up many phrases of patriotism. These come from traditional United States songs and a now cliche ideology of "freedom isn't free and I'm proud of it because people died." Even the poem form has gone awry in that Cummings smashed up both an English and Italian sonnet in his work. What a sly dog...Woof! Then ending with a narration of the quoted speaker's actions, reveals this "speech" was delivered on the very morals it tried to denounce after "He spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water." The nonsensical speech attempting to whip people up into a patriotic frenzy while being delivered by someone unconfident and insecure which is illustrated by his rapid water drinking directly after his speech.

God Bless Uhmurica!

I would be in a band called the Backstreet Hags.

"Much Madness is Divinest Sense" by E.D.

As a wunderbar segue to more societal issues we delve into the paradoxical and satirical poem of the ever lovely E.D. In this one, E.D. gives us a little seeming contradiction with which to enrich ourselves by equating "madness" to "sense." And then stating if one has "sense" then one really has "madness." Yet to be mad, in the speaker's eyes, is to disagree with the majority, to demur. Society will then tell you thatcha craazzzzy if you would ever consider to disagree with them and that the only sensible thing to do is blindly assent. Yet when one does not think for themselves or at all, then one has no brain function and is madder than a hatter. Yet to use one's brain is madness by society's standards, yet logically, to think is to have "divinest sense." YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT THE BARBIES, SOCIETY!! WWWRRROOONNNGGG!!

Lightning Blew Up my Modem. How does that feel? Squishy?

"Barbie Doll" by Marge Piercy

When I was little, I was definitely jealous of girls who got to play with dolls in their AWESOME doll houses with their AWESOME accessories (a hot pink Corvette screams classy) that provided hours of endless fun. But boys were supposed to go outside and get dirty and push each other around and throw dirt in each other's eyes. These are just two "societal norms" placed on children today. Well, guess what society, I hate outside and I happen to appreciate the finer details of a fine pink, plastic Corvette. If only the girl in "Barbie Doll" could have taken a few lessons from this rogue, then she wouldn't be in her final resting place covered in wrappings of irony. The girl is described as intelligent, healthy, and overall AWESOME; however, someone notes her imperfect nose and legs. From this she feels she must alter herself into a cookie-cutter shape society projects for all people to follow, much like the Barbie dolls I was denied the right to play wit....I mean, that she played with in her youth. When she changes her outside to become pretty for society, she loses that which makes her AWESOME and degrades into a death of her physical/mental/emotional self.

I wasn't alone!!

Giddy is hardly an accurate description.

This unit on figurative language is a little more difficult than the previous one about imagery (which is why I'm only analyzing four poems this time, did you catch that?). Imagery is at least something concrete, tangible, visible. Something figurative is the very antithesis, especially in the language of poetry where the lines are blurred even more. Much like Nabokov's analogy, imagery paints a kind of picture which can be viewed in one sitting with our eye (or in the picture we paint in our mind). Figurative language creates a work unable to be experienced immediately with a single organ, but instead mulls around in our brain until we make sense of it. The authors' suggestions never become something immediately clear with defined lines and boundaries and fancy borders. Something that takes more effort to analyze and "view" will always be more difficult. I blame it on ΔG.

It's all his fault.

Fascist. Hag.

"Bright Star" by John Keats

Stars may be magical and mystical and romantic and stuff, but there are probably better things to put admiration and loathing into. The speaker almost loses himself in describing the positive attributes of the star, patient and steadfast, yet then comes to his senses ("No-yet still steadfast, still unchangeable....") and accuses it of being alone, sleepless, and overall static. Then, to create some interest in this thing, he shifts to include his lover in the picture and how being static would be worst of all, preferring to end at the highest peak of his passion than to level off. This theme is probably also used in the movie Bright Star about the Keat-inator himself and his many conquests which is evident in the tagline of the movie, "First love burns brightest." Aren't they adorable over there? It's definitely a chick flick, but I might see it. What do you say Ebert and Roeper? Thumbs up or down? "Bright Star" also seems to me like it would make one of those trashy romance novels women read.

Garth, that was a haiku!

"I taste a liquor never brewed" by E.D.

Oh how figurative you are Miss E.D.! Not to mention all the extended metaphor a-hap'nin' with the liquor and the air and the nature. Naturally, this little number is an entire metaphor for comparing happy nature things to liquor. Nature being the choice drink of E.D. for a good ol' time makes her "inebriated" and giddy such as a-a-a-a-a-al-ca-haul may make someone else less than rational. She's also really in the drinking mood because "When 'Landlords' turn the drunken Bee out of the Foxglove's door-" (as in throwing a drunk out of a bar) and "When Butterflies - renounce their 'drams'-" (the Butterflies put a cap on they dranks) E.D. states "I shall but drink the more!" (Woo! Shawty is ON ta-night!) However, because she's getting "drunk on nature," this seems to imply that she loves nature so much she won't be tired of it even when part of nature (butterflies and bees) are tired of it. Also, just as a fun fact, E.D. alludes to the Rhine river in Germany where they grow grapes on the riverside with which to make wine.

Party on Wayne. Party on Garth.

Excellent!

Little. Yellow. Different.

Wayne, you learned to say "I look pretty" in Cantonese!

Who told you? Was it Steve? That Steve.

"Dream Deferred" by Langston Hughes

Much of the poems effectiveness comes from the use of comparisons made mostly by similes. Each simile represents a possible effect of a dream being put off. The first asks if a dream dries up "like a raisin in the sun." The dream may become shriveled and brown and uninteresting like a dry raisin, baking in the sun's heat. The second asks if it festers "like a sore" and then that sore runs. The dream may eventually turn into something harmful to oneself as an infected sore harms the body. The dream may then "stink like rotten meat." The dream you held so dear becomes something repulsive enough to cause you to gag. It may also "crust and sugar over" forming a sweet barrier around the issue your dream pursues. In the final simile, the dream may "[sag] like a heavy load." weighing you down, causing you no longer to have the strength to chase it.

What packs the punch though, is that after all the similes, "AP" Langston Hughes attacks the subject with a succinct metaphor asking if the dream explodes. An explosion is never good and carries with it connotations of violence and destruction. When put in the context of the time and author, it could refer to Langston Hughes believing civil rights will only come after violence takes its course.

The Big C Seemed Way Too Excited When Discussing This One...

"February" by Madge Atwood

The title (of the blog post) says it all. The gleam in Costello's eyes when discussing this...piece...was like two bright lighthouses shining in the night. I suppose it can be justified because the more we discussed the piece, the more I enjoyed it. In fact, it was one of my favorites for this unit because of its tone and familiar imagery. The coziness of staying in bed in a warm house during the cold, hard days of February provides an almost picturesque winter scene with the poet, scrawling in a journal about this time, then contemplating her cat that joins her up on the bed to "[tell] whether or not [she's] dead." Oh, that cat. With a more than vivid illustration, the speaker portrays the cat in a negative light during "February, month of despair...." and then compares humanity, making them no higher than animals, to the cat. ("It's all about sex and territory, which are what will finish us off in the long run.") Finally, after her tone of bitterness concerning love, sex, and procreation, she calls the cat (and people) to action so as not to be glum during the gray February days and make it something worthwhile.

Obviously the cat was a lolcat.

Do all the women in the Bureau have to wear those really masculine shoes?

"London" by William Blake

I dunno 'bout you, but I was definitely getting a whole tone and mood are really important kind of vibe from this poem. Oh, you did too? Well, I equated William Blake's description of London with Sweeny Todd. Both give a very dark tone and mood, Sweeny Todd with both the story and the physical lighting and "London" with imagery of "black'ning Church[es], blood down Palace walls, marks of weakness...[and] woe." In addition, much like E.D.'s funeral poem, which is also on the darker side, sound was very prevalent. Many of the characters "cry" such as every man, every infant, and Chimney sweepers, in addition to others making their voices heard as well. This is also found in Sweeny Todd through singing. London's a rough place, it seems.


How could I not post a Sweeny Todd song? I feel it compliments the poem perfectly.

Ling-Ling! You walked right by Crazy Nails and No Say Hi Me!

"The Convergence of the Twain" by Thomas Hardy

This poem, through the vessel of The Titanic, attempts to portray the destruction of human vanity. In the first few stanzas, the ship is described as an opulent entity with "Jewels in joy designed/To ravish the sensuous mind." Yet now the boat, this embodiment of human achievement which was "unsinkable" not sits at the bottom of the ocean with "grotesque, slimed, dumb, indifferent" sea-worms and "Dim moon-eyed fishes" which have no capacity for appreciating its beauty. In the final stanzas, the juxtaposition of the iceberg and the ship come into play. The iceberg and the ship "grow" over time together, at the same pace, each being the other's enemy. Then a greater being, ("Immanent Will, Spinner of the Years") wishing to stick it to humanity's "vaingloriousness" (which is the best word in the poem) "Said 'Now!'" and the two collided. Obviously the iceberg won.

Hmm, who would win in a fight, a boat or an iceberg? I'm just wracked with indecision.